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Say What?????

Definitions, syntax, and size of vocabulary are critically important to the person that hopes to excel in their career.  No matter what the profession, excellent grammar skills are respected.  The more that a person can accurately communicate, the more the “listener” has confidence in their ability in sales, service, counsel, or medical treatment. Being from the South, I did not realize that the slang, daily verbal expressions, or words that are wrongly used were less than correct until adulthood.  Here is a “tongue-in-cheek” glimpse at some definitions that may be just “a little off”…….enjoy!

ABDICATE: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

ANTIQUE: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you’re buying again.

AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.
BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.
BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
COFFEE: A person who is coughed upon.
DERANGE: Where de buffalo roam.
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
GROCERY LIST: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
HINDSIGHT: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom’s nickname for Dad.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
POLYGON: A dead parrot.
RELIEF: What trees do in the Spring.
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.
SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
VEGETARIAN: Old Indian word for bad hunter.
(From a sermon by Steven Simala Grant, Faith, Hope and Love? Mother’s Day, 5/15/2012)