Definitions, syntax, and size of vocabulary are critically important to the person that hopes to excel in their career. No matter what the profession, excellent grammar skills are respected. The more that a person can accurately communicate, the more the “listener” has confidence in their ability in sales, service, counsel, or medical treatment. Being from the South, I did not realize that the slang, daily verbal expressions, or words that are wrongly used were less than correct until adulthood. Here is a “tongue-in-cheek” glimpse at some definitions that may be just “a little off”…….enjoy!
ABDICATE: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
ANTIQUE: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you’re buying again.
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.
BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.
BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
COFFEE: A person who is coughed upon.
DERANGE: Where de buffalo roam.
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
GROCERY LIST: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
HINDSIGHT: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom’s nickname for Dad.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
POLYGON: A dead parrot.
RELIEF: What trees do in the Spring.
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.
SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
VEGETARIAN: Old Indian word for bad hunter.
(From a sermon by Steven Simala Grant, Faith, Hope and Love? Mother’s Day, 5/15/2012)