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How About a Grin On Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day has become a banner day for those that sell cards, flowers, candy, own restaurants, and movie theaters.  The spirit of the day is to express to your sweetheart the affection that you have for them in word and through giving a token of your love.  It is also a time to see what others have said “tongue-in-cheek” about marriage.  Here are a collection of humorous insights on this Valentine’s Day. I hope you enjoy a smile….

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie.

If a child of God marries a child of the devil, the child of God is sure to have some trouble with his father-in-law.

Husband: “My wife and I recently had an argument over who was boss.  Finally, I put my foot down and let her know.”

Friend:What did you say?”

Husband: “I’m the head of this house.”

Friend: “Then what happened?”

Husband:My wife came to me in our bedroom and got on her knees.”

Friend: “What did she say?”

Husband: She said, “Get out from under that bed, you coward!”

A man was talking to a neighbor and told him he got a new car for his wife. The neighbor said, “That sounds like a fair swap”

 Husband and wife drove a long way in silence after a terrible argument in which neither would budge. As they passed a fenced-in farm field, he pointed to a mule standing by the fence. “Relative of yours?” he asked. “Yes,” she replied. “By marriage”.

An elderly spinster sniffed with disdain when asked why she never married. “I have a dog that growls, a parrot that swears, a fireplace that smokes and a cat that stays out all night. Why would I need a husband?”

Marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. After the honeymoon, they find out which one.

A woman was talking to her neighbor. “I decided to start today with an act of selfless generosity. I gave $100 to a complete loser.” “That’s a lot of money to give to that kind of person,” her friend observed. “What did your husband say about that?” “He said ‘thanks’”, said the first woman.

This material was taken from:http://hotsermons.com/sermon-illustrations/sermon-illustrations-marriage.html#sthash.f02KJyFp.dpuf