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School Daze Humor

With the start of school, here are some reflections and incidents from previous “students”.

1. “Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today’s world — an assigned parking space.” — Gene Perret.

2. “No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book.” Edgar Watson Howe.

3. “Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.” — E.C. McKenzie.

4. “Education helps you earn more. But not many schoolteachers can prove it.” — E. C. McKenzie.

5. “The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn’t stop until you get to school.” — Milton Berle.

6. “Nothing grieves a child more than to study the wrong lesson and learn something he wasn’t supposed to.” — E.C. McKenzie.

7. “If people did not do silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.” — Ludwig Wittgenstein.

8. “Education costs money, but then so does ignorance.” — Claus Moser

Taken from:

Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

“Not enough,” Luke replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!

Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!

Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.  

(Taken from: